Grit, Moxie, or neither?
Finish strong.
One of my personal downfalls is the last 5-10 minutes of any task. Think; the last ten pieces of laundry, the last four reps of a workout, the last five items to put away in a pile of random junk. These last things are my nemesis, and before this program, I was not fully aware of how much power they held over me. It was not until I saw myself repeatedly quit in workouts with just three or four reps left each time that I decided to start spelling out G-R-I-T and M-O-X-I-E before I stopped. When things get hard, I spell grit, and I spell moxie. By the time that’s done, I’ve gotten through the hard to a rest point.
Why do you care about the last reps in my workout routine? You don’t, technically. But you do care if I am going to show up and follow through when the going gets tough on a project. You care if I come to a table and get vulnerable… then peter out when it gets raw. You care when my inability to complete a task shows up everywhere else in my life. Without learning about Angela Duckworth’s Grit (2016), dissecting Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead (2018), or digging into Simon Sinek’s Start with Why (2009), I would not have the same sense of personal enlightenment that I do today. To take things a step further: without my fellow breakfast bunchers, I would miss most of what these texts had to offer me.
I was very reluctant to engage with any of Brene Brown’s works before this class. Many of my friends from college and past mentors have recommended her work, but I have actively shied away from all of it. I was afraid of the word vulnerability, let alone the idea of reading about it. In the months since we began digging into Dare to Lead (Brown, 2018), I’ve become very comfortable with the idea of getting curious when I get uncomfortable.
I have also employed the use of two Brown phrases quite regularly: “The story I’m telling myself is,” (Brown, 2018, p. 247) and “Clear is kind, unclear is unkind” (p. 44). These two phrases have informed some significant changes in behavior over the past few months and have opened more avenues for communication in many of my daily interactions.
“The story I’m telling myself is...”
Next, Sinek (2009) gave legitimacy to something I’ve never been able to put my finger on- the limbic brain and gut feelings. He also identified a feeling of misalignment I’ve been experiencing by repeatedly acknowledging that what and how do not matter if why is not clear.
Lastly, I’ll touch on the surprising piece of self-awareness I took from Angela Duckworth. I’m not a naturally gritty person. I don’t have the perseverance or dedication that I often attribute to myself when asked to describe my personality. Duckworth says, “To be gritty is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. To be gritty is to hold fast to an interesting and purposeful goal. To be gritty is to invest, day after week after year, in challenging practice. To be gritty is to fall down seven times, and rise eight” (Duckworth, 2016, p. 125). This reminded me and taught me that grit is not a personality trait but a disciplined characteristic that can be developed.
“ Grit is not a personality trait but a disciplined characteristic that can be developed.”
Spending time in self-reflection and getting curious while in the presence of a completely safe group of like-minded individuals has been life-changing. There are very few people and places that foster a level of vulnerability like the one supported on our discussion boards and in our Breakfast Bunch and Canvas chat. Additionally, there are few people or places (and far fewer workplaces) that sustain that environment. With psychological safety demonstrated week in and week out, I have felt comfortable coming to grow on our discussion boards.
Lastly, between switching professors every eight weeks and Brene Brown’s rumble starters (Brown, 2018, p. 172), I have learned to advocate for myself without feeling as though what I am asking for is unreasonable or unkind. This is something I have struggled with for quite some time (you could say I was suffocated by my Iowa Nice), so seeing growth in this area has been encouraging.
References:
Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work, tough conversations, whole hearts. Random House.
Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: The power of passion and perseverance. Scribner.
Sinek, S. (2009). Start with why: How great leaders inspire everyone to take action. Portfolio Penguin.